Just Breathe

With the exams coming up, we can already see that our children are beginning to feel a bit more anxious and stressed out. As we know, some nerves can be beneficial as it contributes toward the drive and motivation to prepare and study. However, what we would like to prevent is escalating anxiety to the point where it begins to take a toll on children’s emotional/psychological well-being. So, for this blog, rather than providing general ‘tips for exam stress’ since I feel parents probably do have knowledge of these, I want to focus on one “tip” (technique) specifically: Breathing.

 

When I am session with students and we discuss breathing as way to feel calmer, the conversation would often go like this:
Me: Have you tried breathing exercises?
Student: Yes, I have tried breathing, but it doesn’t work” (especially from our high schoolers).
Me: Okay, show me how you breathe (tongue in cheek)
Student: What do you mean Ma’am, I am breathing right now, you can see how I am breathing”
Me: “Yes, I can see you are breathing, but how you are breathing right now is not going to necessarily calm your body, so show me how you would breathe when you want to feel more relaxed.”
Student: I usually take deep breaths and count to 10…or maybe a bit longer.
Me: Okay, well show me…

After some hesitation and strange looks, they finally demonstrate. What I then often see, is that the student is not breathing in a conducive way to stimulate the vagal nerve (nerve that is responsible for sending messages to relax). Yes, there is a correct way to breathe… We think that when we say “take a deep breath” is good advice, but there is a fine line… Taking a deep breath activates the chest and neck muscles, triggers the sympathetic (fight or flight) system, strains neck muscles and increases heart rate instead of slowing it down. This is what I notice when I observe children breathe.

When you want to support your child to regulate their nervous system (i.e. calm their body and mind), encourage slow inhalations from the belly and longer exhalations through the nose, into the lower ribs and abdomen. Longer exhalations relaxes the diaphragm (probably the most important organ in breathing) and stimulates the Vagus nerve. In turn, the heart slows down and the muscles relaxes, making your body feel calmer. To make this more practical, here are two breathing techniques you can try with your child:

Try to make one of these breathing techniques part of your child’s (and your own) daily routine. Especially during more stressful times, such as the exams that are coming up. This will help to build your child’s resilience, not only during exams, but also in general.

I hope you found this useful! All the best with exam preparation and remember…To Just Breathe